HOUSE RULES · FREE
What were the rules in your house?
Every house runs on rules, and most of them are never said out loud. You learned some anyway, and they're probably still running.
Ten situations. About five minutes. Free.
Start House Rules
The four rules
- Get it right. Being all right depends on nothing being wrong with what you produce.
- Be no trouble. Staying close depends on being easy to have around.
- Get there first. Nothing can be pinned on you if you answer before it arrives.
- Need less. Needing something costs you and returns nothing, so you need less.
Everyone runs all four sometimes. The trouble starts when one of them runs whether it fits the situation or not.
How it works
You'll get ten everyday situations, and for each one you say how often you respond in four different ways. There are no right answers, and no single answer decides anything. What comes back is a picture of all four rules: how loud they are for you right now, which one leads, and whether another one is close behind.
What you get
Your result straight away: a card showing all four rules, a reading of the loudest one, and one thing to try this week. If you'd like the long version, leave your email at the end and it'll come to your inbox. Your result shows up either way.
What it isn't
It isn't a diagnosis, it isn't therapy, and it doesn't tell you who you are. These rules are learned, and learned things can change.
Already know what you do? The Attachment Map shows who you do it with. Try the Attachment Map
House Rules is my own framework: four patterns people learn early and keep running as adults, each one checked against the research on perfectionism, people-pleasing, reactions to criticism and self-reliance.
If things are heavier than a quiz right now, please talk to somebody. Lifeline is 13 11 14, any time.